Just Kinda Tragic
by TheTGroup
Summary: Strange weather patterns, sunshine one moment, rain the next and Ianto Jones is the first to spot a strange ship in the sky about to crash land.
1. Chapter 1

©**Title:** Just Kinda Tragic

**Main Characters:** The Torchwood Team aka: Captain Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato. Original Characters: Mark Thomson and Jess Thomson  
**Basic Summary:** Strange weather patterns, sunshine one moment, rain the next and Ianto Jones is the first to spot a strange ship in the sky about to crash land.  
**Genres:** Action/Adventure/Humour  
**Ratings**: K +  
**Warnings:** Set just before the Torchwood episode /From Out of the Rain/ series 2. Some references from the Torchwood books Bay of the Dead by Mark Morris and The House That Jack Built by Guy Adams.  
**Written by **Jay Westwood

**Beta'd by** Patricia Miller©

A lot of strange things had been happening recently and the team had been a little stretched trying to deal with them all, needless to say Ianto Jones probably only knew half of what was going on. Not that he ever seemed to mind all that much, after all, all he was there to do was to make sure things ran smoothly, the adrenaline fuelled side of things were well out of his comfort zone and didn't interest him in the least. He sat in his Tourist Office surrounded by coffee mugs and pizza boxes, writing up paperwork. Yes, everybody _else's_ paperwork- because apparently, Torchwood didn't do paperwork.

He liked being upstairs, away from the Hub for a few hours a day, just to get his head around things, to be able to think, and breathe, and generally move. Of course, downstairs was where all the action took place, and that was even more a good reason to stay upstairs for a while, dare he admit it, sometimes he needed some space from it all. Besides, he opened the Tourist Information Centre, maybe twice a week just to maintain Torchwood's cover, but not many people had been interested in Jack and the Beanstalk pantomime leaflets. He had removed the out dated leaflets and placed the new box of leaflets that had been hanging round doing nothing for a couple of days, up into their categorised holders on the wall and placed a pile on the desk.

One had caught his eye, the Electro Cinema reopening as a museum of local history that was captured on celluloid. The old scenes of black-and-white films were showing. He figured that could be quite interesting and maybe he might get the team to tag along with him, even if that was a long shot, guaranteed to miss.

The rest of the team had decided that, seeing as Ianto didn't have a desk in the Hub, his desk could be the Tourist Office. Of course, he would never admit it, but he liked his own little place to be admin over.

Wasn't he admin over most things?

They set him up a little CCTV system of some basic points in Cardiff, and gave him a computer but, of course, it was _his_ office, and apparently they couldn't spare the computers which he could /slowly/ look up and check data, and whatever else he wanted to check. This computer was just for work, he actually felt a bit like a school kid with a parental control over the damn thing. Basically, it was the Hub, just older, slower and more... retro, would be the nicer term to use.

After sorting out the leaflets Ianto was amused whilst watching something he'd found on a television channel. A game show, the sort of thing he wasn't usually interested in, but he thought he might as well take half an hour off, of doing paperwork to have a little 'me' time. Although the time didn't last too long as a few seconds after he had that wonderful thought, the Tourist Office door burst open wide and the weather outside invited itself in, drenching the floor just inside the room and blowing the paperwork, which Ianto had left on one side, all over the floor, along with some rouge leaflets.

Ianto swore. Loudly. In Welsh.

He grumbled, getting to his feet and poking his head around the door. A few minutes ago, the sun had just been setting for, what he'd had to admit, would be a beautiful day although, beautiful days weren't seen in the Hub. It was underground. Now the torrential rain and wind was lapping against the side of the Tourist Office, obviously churning the water in Cardiff Bay and turning the sky into a swirl of darkness. It didn't make any sense to Ianto as to why it would suddenly turn dark, so his mind decided for him that he would look at the CCTV, scan it back a few minutes, hell, he might find something.

Back at his /desk/, Ianto flicked up the CCTV, three main points in Cardiff: the main street, outside the Millennium Centre, and a few blocks away, again outside the Millennium Stadium. He didn't spot it quickly enough at first, and so had to rewind the CCTV again, but there, just there – a small circular shape in the sky, looking like at any minute it would loose control.


	2. Chapter 2

She sighed a little, pulling her shirt around her body a bit more in an attempt to keep out the cold weather and folded her arms over her chest. Dark clouds loomed overhead, threatening the people below with torrents of rain, and a chill wind was rife in the streets, piercing even the thickest woollen fleece without mercy, which was a shame as Gwen Cooper had only picked up a light cotton top, to throw on over her tank top with her usual leather jacket and Denim jeans that morning because when she started out for work the sun was shinning. She didn't give it a second thought, knowing the weather in Wales was always trying to make up its mind.

Stopping off at her usual place in the morning to grab a coffee and partly to get out of the rain that came all of a sudden as she stepped into the little Starbucks coffee shop that was just over the road from the Roald Dahl Plassand ofcourse where she worked. She couldn't help but think how lucky she had been to miss the downpour shower by only a few seconds. She really wished she had brought an umbrella, but as the little bell rang above the door and the welcoming smell of several coffee beans roasting at the same time pushed that thought from her mind until it was time to place in her order. She smiled slightly towards the person that glanced up from sitting behind the counter as she approached.

She thanked the grumpy little Chinese girl whose service was lousy and attitude abominable that didn't take the edge off making tracks over to The Hub any pleasanter to say the least and left at a slight jog, over to the jetty that lead to the Tourist Information centre.

The door was open and she thought it was quite strange as she slow jogged inside almost slipping on the bits of paper lying on the floor. She closed and clicked the safety lock on the door and started to pick up the various sheets of Torchwood paperwork on the floor. "Ianto?" she called, but got no answer in return, she placed the paper on the desk and reached over the counter to tap in the four-digit code sequence that opened the concealed door in the wall. She stepped into the tunnels beyond, cutting through the damp and gloominess until she reached the light of the lift that took her almost three hundred levels down underground to The Hub.

She took a sip of her cappuccino "What's going on Tosh?" She asked, walking through the revolving door and making her way up and over to the workplaces.


	3. Chapter 3

"Jack, turn left down the long stretch of road for about half a mile it seems to be heading in that direction" Toshiko Sato said, down the Blue-tooth connection as she sat in her comfy chair in front of several computer screens like she normally did, bringing up latest news feeds and CCTV camera networks that followed the SUV. Her fingers ran over the keyboards with pace and precision running the software through to see if she could get a single clear match by magnifying and orientating the clips of the ship they had got from Ianto's CCTV clip that hit the atmosphere that morning.

She turned to Gwen "Not sure yet, sudden weather change and space ship sighting, Jack's chasing it as we speak, it looks like it's going to crash"

It had hit the Earths orbit, too fast, spinning on the wrong angle and out of control, trying to dodge the tall high raised buildings such as the BT Tower and the iconic Millennium Centre down by The Bay. It was heading for open space as if whoever or whatever the pilot was, was trying to avoid a big fuss and crash land somewhere deserted, to save on little disturbance as possible.

"Oh" Gwen said, wondering if she hadn't turned up for work that morning would she have been the last to be informed. Just to prove her point about being the last to know Owen came rushing out from where the autopsy room was situated carrying a bunch of papers, dressed in his long white medic overall and slumped down at his desk, next to Toshiko, mutterings a quite morning to Gwen as he passed her.

Gwen let a few minute of awkward silence pass and finally asked. "How come nobody thought of informing me?" She knew she had been pretty ratty, what with not having a good night sleep for the passed couple of nights. She knew she had snapped on occasions, maybe acted like she was in a world of her own, but that wasn't any reason for the team to blank her out of a possible important case was it?

"We thought you might have needed some rest" Toshiko said quietly, glancing over at Owen who returned it, looking grateful that she had answered Gwen instead of some sarcastic comment made by him, that would only make the whole situation worst. Toshiko turned back to face her work space grateful to hear Jack's voice in her ear as the awkward moment passed.

"Anything I can do?" Gwen inquired settling down at her desk, placing her handbag neatly underneath the table and switching on her computer screen.


	4. Chapter 4

The window wipers were on full speed and even if they were doing the job, as they were supposed to, he still had to lean forward in his seat over the steering wheel to see through the windscreen. "What's up that way Tosh?" came a deep American voice belonging to none other than Captain Jack Harkness. The rain was thundering down and with that thought in the back of his mind he slowed down to a more respectable speed. The only thing that bothered him, if ever he had to crash was the beast of an SUV and her paintwork getting damaged beyond repair, he knew _he_ could come back to life in a second.

Toshiko's voice in his ear informed him that up ahead was nothing but fields belonging to Cefn Mably Farm Park. She told him he was about fifteen to twenty minutes away from The Hub and was heading for the beautiful rural surrounding of the Welsh Countryside. "Thanks Tosh" Jack pulled a face, knowing that the Welsh Countryside wasn't on the top of his list of places to go visit, not after what happened last time. Some sicko human on human cannibalism action Jack could do without. Only in the bloody countryside, but needs much right now when the devil drives.

The Farm's turning sign made Jack laugh as he passed the driveway and parked somewhere off road a few yards up the muddy dirt path. Fun in all weathers - it read. Jack pulled up his collar of his greatcoat and clambered out the driver's side of the SUV, immediately stepping into ankle deep mud, which was made worse by the downpour. Yes, real fun! He thought sarcastically.

Jack pressed the shiny button of his ear peace, which shaped his face almost too perfectly so he could hear and talk to Toshiko on the other end of the line. "Are you sure it's landed here? I can only see fields, paddocks and stables, send me coordinates to where the ship crashed."

"Coordinates sent" was the faint reply from Toshiko along with a little "Be careful" warning.

Jack pulled out his Personal Digital Assistant, otherwise known as a PDA and the bookmark popped up onscreen with a little ping. The little device came in handy at times, Jack was getting rather fond of the thing. "I'll report back Tosh" he said and cocked his leg over the fence. Not the first time he had to do such a thing.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Jess poured boiling hot water onto a fresh tea bag and stirred milk and sugar into the cup after draining the Tetley-Tea. It was morning, which meant time to do her routine rounds of feeding the animals, before she even have time for herself and her own breakfast. They were a working farm but they didn't just make a living from selling their stuff down the local farmer's marker, they were a Park also, for people to come visit. So standards had to be made very high and she made perfectly sure that all animals were kept clean and looked after.

She sighed a little, over the last half an hour the rain had belted it down and that was another problem. No matter how many highs there was in this kind of job, there were many lows too, like any other working success farm they were open all year round, no matter what the weather was like. A farmers work is never done, that saying was an understatement, the only break they had was probably Christmas Day and then it was straight back to work on Boxing Day. The Fun in All Weathers slogan they had up by the driveway was true in away, they made each visitor here very welcome, no matter what the Welsh weather was like.

She glanced up at the clock on the wall, it just tick togged its way passed half eight. She knew her husband Mark, had been out since six, milking the cows and doing all the early morning stuff and he wasn't back yet. Soon as he got back she'd be out, but until then she was going to enjoy her tea and get her overalls on set for another busy day.

She didn't have time to sit down when she heard a sort of scratching noise at the door. She rolled her eyes, that would be Bouncer, their family golden retriever dog, looking for his feed, who had probably been up the same time as Mark. "Alright, Bounce" she opened the door to be faced with his gleeful wagging tale and she couldn't think of anything better for a greeting in the morning. He also brought in a pile of muggy paws too. "Look at you, you filthy thing" she smiled and brushed his damp fur down with her hand. "Some special treatment for you, feed, bath and a groom today"

She stepped aside so Bouncer could slip through to the kitchen and idly glanced outside to see if she could spot Mark. Her eyes fell onto something she wasn't expecting for a million years, if she was still alive! "Holy crap! There's a space ship in my garden, there's a strange man and a space ship in my garden" she blinked. She shouted Mark's name a couple time, which caused Bouncer to bark. When she got no reply she banged the door behind her and locking it. She turned, leaning her back against the door and slid down to the floor, she couldn't believe her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

"I guess now would be a good time to worry about crop circles?" Ianto presumed out loud, pondering into the boardroom with a fresh tray of coffee, where the team had allocated to for a recall of events of that morning and share what they knew, maybe come up with a suitable answer as to what had obviously came through the rift and decide how they will deal with it. He placed the tray in the middle of the table and took his seat as Gwen stood up.

"Cefn Mably Family Farm Park opened in the early nineteen forties, and used for the woman's land army during the war and funds the Woman's Institute today. Owned by the Thomson family since it first opened. Mark and Jessica Thomson are the latest to take over the business and have for the passed year, since Mark's mother died of natural causes. All pretty normal."

Toshiko was the next to stand up. She bared a remote control in one hand and switched the flat screen TV on with it.

"This is the footage taken from Ianto's CCTV this morning, I have been trying to identify the craft, running it past the software and cross-checking with the possibilities it came up with, but the software keeps breaking down meaning it can't function properly. Too low of a res. I think it's safe to say we should leave the identification to Jack. As we predicted a rift spike occurred at the exact time as the UFO was spotted, leading us to think that it was heading in our direction to begin with"

Owen leaned forward, picking up his mug from the coffee tray and listened. He took a sip. "And I think it's safe to say, we don't know bollocks"

The team had gotten used to Owen's sarcastic comments by now. Ever since he became a walking dead man he had been restricted to what he could do, mission wise, and other things resulting in mainly being Hub bound, playing with his kit of medical instruments. Sometimes he wondered what the team saw in him being around anymore.

The whole of his left hand had been bandaged up and the massive hole through his chest was unmistakably visible if he had his shirt off. If he couldn't heal himself, what good could he be to others? This often made him quite angry because he was a Doctor of Medicine and should be able to look after himself as well as others, right? To top it of, he had been a moody twat recently because he couldn't eat, drink, sleep or shag, all his favourite things rolled into one.

It didn't help when he had the feelings of every single favourite thing he used to do when he was alive. He often did things to take his mind of those very thoughts, simply by going for long walks in the middle of the night, jumping into Cardiff Bay when he left like it, maybe go for a sprint in the park, oh and work. When things started to liven up he would rather be doing something then nothing, so he would often volunteer to put himself in the firing line, but got told to go back to his autopsy bay or watering the exotic plants in the Hot House because the mission might be too dangerous.

Hell! That was the risk that came with Torchwood and he was prepared to help out when he can, but bloody Jack said he would rather have him in one piece instead of looking like something that was hung out on the washing line to dry.

"Go back to watering and feeding your Venus Flytrap Owen. If we are lucky it'll eat you instead of the thirty kilos of fresh meet a day, and then those hikers up in the Brecons wouldn't have died for nothing" Gwen pointed out. Torchwood only found out about the Flytrap after following up reports and missing leads on missing hikers. Slamming the files she had dug up on the Thomas' on the table she stormed out.

"It loves Kendall Mint Cake" Ianto muttered quietly to himself.

"Not now Ianto!" Toshiko protested watching Gwen leave in a huff and frowned at Owen who just shrugged.

"Not my fault it's PMS's with TOM is it?"


	7. Chapter 7

Mark cursed as he heaved the padlock closed to the last horse in the stables of about twenty. Having moved them to the indoor stable, his hands were numb, with glistening red finger tips. It didn't make things much easier for him when the strong wind blowing in from the opening of the aisle against his back resulted in, trying to knock him off balance on many occasions but didn't succeed. Even through the vast metal shelter over the stables, the wind and partly moving them had gotten most the horses startled after blowing against some loose tiles on the roof making them clatter and echo rather loudly, in the space they were in. It had been hard to get them settled after that, but nothing a good feed wouldn't put right.

Making his way to the end of the barn, he slid the giant metal doors across and locked the horses inside, in their own separate cubicles, shielding them from the weather. He used most of his strength just to stay upright instead of being blown against the stable doors and knocking himself out. He was hoping to get some ploughing done today up on the main and secondary fields but that looked like it wasn't going to happen any time some or was it?

All of a sudden the sun popped its face from behind the clouds and shone brightly as if that morning rains never happened. Maybe he could get some ploughing done after all, if the weather would make up its mind. He didn't look best pleased, having been out since six, getting drenched from head to toe with rain and a mixture of mud but he was happy to see the weather go back to being warm-ish again.

He turned, scrapping the mud of the bottom of his wellingtons on the concrete compound and made for his home, hoping that Jess would have a very greasy breakfast waiting for him when he got there. He could almost smell the bacon, he wondered if he had only imagined it.

It was bit like the story he had heard many times when he was kid, about the rain verses the sun to see which one was the strongest and could make the man take off his coat first. The rain tried all it's best to make the man remove his coat, throwing thunderstorms and winds at him but the man never removed the coat. Until the sun had its turns and made everyone take their coats off. Mark thought it a bit ironic that he found himself in this situation as if the rain and the sun were having a battle against each other and to prove the sun victorious Mark insisted on taking of his waterproof coat almost automatically feeling the sun's UV burn the back of his neck. As if it was the sun's way of saying thank you.

The fields looked much more appealing now the sun shown down on them. His eyes fell on a strange man walking across one of the paddocks. "Oi! No trespassers allowed" he shouted over to the man who didn't seem phrased by him at all. The man in a greatcoat looked like he didn't hear Mark what so ever and completely ignored him, continuing what he was doing. If Mark hadn't drifting his eyes to what the man was studying, he would say the man reminded him of the many pictures that fell into his possession of the farm in the war years. "oh my! And what the bloody hell is that thing?"


	8. Chapter 8

"No, no, no, no, no!" Jack repeated, muttering to himself as he neared the crashed ship. It landed lopsided in one of the paddocks looking like some really bad graphics on some dodgy Sci-Fi show. Smoke rose up from what looked like the ships engines on both sides of the craft._ "It shouldn't be here, its wrong" _Jack thought to himself to try and block out the annoying voice in his ear from the farms owner. It wasn't working so he turned on his ear peace to connect back to The Hub and spoke quietly through it, making sure the owner couldn't hear him.

"Tosh…"

Over the other end of the line, Toshiko voice blared through explaining about what they had found out about the farm and its owners.

"Tosh I need…"

She then went on to explain that they hadn't found much out about the craft.

"Tosh I need you to…"

She told him about Gwen's little out burst caused by Owen and Jack rolled his eyes. To be honest, that was the least of his worries right now. Although in his minds eye he could picture The Hub being in an uproar awaiting his orders.

"…shut up for a minute and check if another craft hit our atmosphere around the same time this one did, it might be a decoy, they've done it before and call up a radar within a fifty-mile radius of the Bay for the last twenty four hours."

Jack heard Toshiko's fingers tab the keys of the keyboard through the headset. Knowing the others had their Blue-tooth turned on he continued to give more orders.

"Gwen, to take your mind of things, check the satellite reading at Jodrell Bank, see if they picked up any chatter around the time of the sighting and Owen can you patch into the airspace provision see if there is any RAF flight plans and cancel them"

His eyes ran up along the design work of the ship. It seemed to be layered, a circular saucer with what seemed like lights on the outside which could have easily been one way look out windows from the inside. It doubled back onto itself for the second oval shaped slightly smaller layer on top of that, which also shaped itself as a four stroke slipstream. Each stage getting smaller and Jack guessed the top, third and final layer was the opening to the ship, but that was going on his own back catalogue of knowledge, which went back a few hundred years.

The slipstream layer had a four sharp pointed end and two of those formed the crafts wings at the rear of the ship. In between those where three fans, possibly to boost the turbo engines which ran onto what looked liked an additional large spoiler. The other two at the front of the ship dug down deep into the soil of the paddock.

"Ladies and gentleman, it looks like we have a Slitheen problem" Jack muttered quietly down the headset, his eyes still running every inch of the space ship, it's patterns and it's green grey coloured surface.

"Excuse me!" While Jack had been busy talking to the team Mark had made his way over to the mystery man who had appeared in his fields and tapped him quite unfriendly on the shoulder. "Didn't you hear me the first time?" he protested, but little did Jack know the farmer had ear wigged and heard a little bit of the conversation. "What the hell it going on here? Who are you? What are Slitheen?" He had several questions running through his mind at once.

"They're aliens! Get away from him Mark, it's the War of the Worlds" A frantic Jess came running for her life towards the men, waving her hands and arms in the air. Bouncer followed and set of at a speed that Jess couldn't keep up with, he jumped the paddock gate and made for Mark, eyeing the other man as if asking in his own way, "_and who are you?"_

Jack rolled his eyes, mutterings a quiet /help me/ to himself. Aliens he could deal with, people he couldn't. "Ah! Mark Thomas?" he turned to face the man with a big pearly white smile and chanced a cheeky point of the finger. "And you must be Jessica Thomas, am I right? I am aren't I?" he said and flashed her one of his handsomest winning grins he could possibly flash someone, as Jess came and joined them. That exact same smile had got him in and out of trouble possibly everywhere he went. It had been known to charm the fins of a blow-fish and it could probably do the same to Jess and Mark, making them weak at the knees, but considering the situation he thought he'd better be on best behave.

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness, hello! And I'm here to help, have you got any vinegar by any chance?"

"Do you want some chips with that?" Mark scowled.

Jack grinned. "No thanks but the offer was a nice gesture, you see I need anything with vinegar and plenty of it"

Jess eyed this Jack slyly behind her husbands back and thought _/very nice/_ to herself. Well if men could window shop other women she couldn't see the reason why she couldn't look herself – just this once. He was worth looking at it, not that she thought Mark wasn't worth looking at or anything, just there was something about this Jack that she couldn't take her eyes off. "Captain of what?" she asked "Of that thing?" she pointed to the crashed space ship. "Aren't you meant to land it, not crash it and I must say, for an alien, you're not quite what I expected"

"Oh no, I'm not an alien!" Jack looked taken aback, but laughed it off. "I'm a Captain of many things and right know I'm your friendly neighbourhood alien catcher – who you gonna to call?"

Mark on the other hand hadn't found the conversation or the company of Jack a pleasure and gave Jess a not so happy glare. He knew their farm was pretty well known so he didn't mind this Jack knowing their names. "The cops, if you don't explain all of this, aren't you a bit old to making pranks!"

Jack pulled a face; but all of a sudden went from being his chirpy self to something darker, something more dangerous. He stepped up in front of Mark, using his height to intimidate the other man. Mark wasn't phased by this sudden move and stood his ground glaring up at Jack at least a few inches taller then himself. Jess backed away not completely believing him, when Jack said he wasn't alien and made a run back to the small cottage that was home. "Listen, I could pull out jokes the size of your head all day, but to me that ship there, in your field is a little to quiet for my liking, and the best thing you could do right now, is stand back and get me some…"

"Vinegar!" Jess came clambering through the paddocks gate once more, a bottle of the brownie liquid in each hand.

"Yes, exactly, I'm glad somebody is keeping up"

She practically tossed the bottle in his arms and went back to stand beside Mark.

"Now stand back" he raised his voice slightly and Jess took Mark's hand and dragged him to the side, where the fence guarded this particular field. Bouncer gave a bark in Jack's direction before following his owners.

Jack stood at the base of the ship; he looked small, considering the size of it and edged his way close to it. He reached out slowly and touched the ships surface. "Slitheen, if you are in there, open up, I'm armed with vinegar and not afraid to use it. Let's work something out"

"I think he is crazy" Jess pointed out.

Smoke emitted from all around the ship and seemed to shake uncontrollably as if it was about to blow up at any minute. The ground underneath Jack's feet began to tremble violently, as if an earthquake had been scheduled in the wake of the earlier wind and rain. A door welded to the centre of the ships roofs opened. Jack was right with his first guess a few minutes ago when he had eyed the ship up for its access point.

Jack could make out a figure but not clearly enough with the surrounding smoke. Standing ready with vinegar arms length, with his free hand, he unclasped his holster button that fastened onto his belt and contained his Webley. Now he was ready to draw the gun out at any minute, should he need extra back up. He squinted to get a half decent look at he shape.

"Captain Jack Harkness – well if it isn't nice to see you again" A voice echoed loudly around the field and Jack was taken off guard for a slip second.

Jack shook his head. He didn't believe what he was hearing. He recognized that voice almost instantly. "No, no, no you shouldn't be here, you can't be here, it's not possible"

Out of the blue of the smoke he was thrown backwards by an invisible force. He hit the fence with a bang and landed awkwardly. He hit his head, hard and felt dazed as everything around him went blurry. Jack's eyes felt heavy and he struggled to keep them open. "No second chances" he warned, barely a whisper. "I'm not the man I used to be" His eyes closed and darkness took over him as he slipped into unconsciousness.

His last imagine he got to look forward to when he woke was Margaret _Blaine_, other wise known as Blon Fel-Fotch Pasameer-Day Slitheen in the same skin suit she wore when he last saw her.

A blonde, stiff-ish woman walked down from the ship, she placed her feet onto the muddy patch of grass for the first time and gave Jack half of a twisted smile, before everything went blank.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The Slitheen had been known to decoy crashing vehicles before, like all the chaos in London a few years back so Toshiko knew exactly where Jack was coming from, when he asked her to check to make sure no other crafts had came through at the same time. She searched outside Cardiff and brought up the satellites that were used to be known as the Archangel Network to see if they had picked up anything circling the Earth's orbit, or any frequencies just in case anything out there was awaiting orders. Once she was sure that the search had been thorough and absolute and that there were no other craft in the atmosphere, she waited for Gwen to re-confirm that with the information she would eventually receive from Jodrell Bank.

"Yes, I know, we are always a nuisances aren't we?" Gwen laughed down the phone, bringing up the live feed from Jodrell up on the computer screen of the main Lovell Satellite. "Thank you we appreciate it" She placed the phone down and sat up at her desk, the guy on the other end, which Jack swore sounded like Sean Connery, had allowed Torchwood access to the data. "File coming your way Tosh" she said and hit the enter key, it took a few minutes before it popped up on the other woman's screen, who adjusted her glasses at the nose.

At that moment Owen came walking through using the other phone line and slumped down at his desk. "And we are Torchwood, we aren't asking we are ordering that for your own safety, that you keep the airways clear for at least another forty eight hours. Yes I understand the customers won't be very happy but they aren't our problem."

Owen put the phone down and brought up the airspace provision website to make sure that they had done their job of cancelling flights. One by one, Owen watched the flights get cancelled from the list and nodded in satisfaction. He imagined that, there would be some people right now peeved of at Torchwood. "RAF have no plans on heading to the skies anytime soon and just for the fun of it, I've just gone and cancelled many peoples holidays too"

Toshiko shook her head with a slight smirk on her face as she patched into the file from Jodrell Bank. "And there haven't been any more sightings of another ship so we should consider ruling out an invasion? Whatever their reasons are, maybe it generally did just crash land"

Ianto straightened his suit as he leaned over the railings from the third floor that lead to the boardroom. He had been cleaning up in there after the little meeting that had took place earlier, but had heard every word the team had been saying. "Since when do the Slitheen come in peace?" he pointed out. "I think they already know what they are doing here, it isn't a coincidence, they have a purpose and a well thought through attack. I think they have a plan"

Owen nodded "For once I'm with the tea boy – they have a plan"

Gwen agreed "Plan"

"Question is what is our plan?"

"Let's think" Owen started. "Jack said we are dealing with Slitheen right? Well what's the one thing that they are vulnerable to? Anything with acetic acid – vinegar is a perfect weapon against them, they are practically living calcium bipeds" he shrugged "I'd say we stock up and go down to Cefn Mably and see what the whole commotion is about?"

Owen was up on his feet as if he already had made up his mind. Ianto brightened up and made his way from the third level and disappeared through the gap between the weapons house and Jack's office.

"Somebody as been doing their homework" Gwen commented,, but knew there was no changing Owens mind once he had it set so she stood up and said "I'm coming with you"

Toshiko twirled around on her chair and took off her glasses in an orderly manner before placing them on her desk. She was happy enough to stay behind and work things from The Hub. It was Jack's orders in the beginning that Owen shouldn't be sent on any cases that might involve him getting injured in some way or other. He couldn't heal, but that seemed to give him even more adrenalin to go on the dangerous missions. She had been there for Owen recently and felt somewhat protective over him, but he never listened to her. Of course it was partly because she loved him, but he was too much of a prick to see that.

She watched as both Gwen and Owen geared up with their standard Torchwood pistols. "I think maybe, Owen should say behind" she gave her opinion voicing over the loud movements but she seemed to be talking to deaf people, even they would understand her more. She sighed it was useless talking to the team when their mind were already set on the job in hand.

Ianto came back from whatever it was he was doing struggling with a large white bottle container. "Vinegar," he said and Owen hurdled it out of Ianto's hands before he had the chance to say anything else and was heading for one of the Torchwood entrance and exits to the parking lot, which not many people knew about. Ianto made it his business to know, exactly who used a parking bay and all about their lives.

There was one sturdy looking camera over looking what people thought was a quick fire exit door which never opened unless you were a Torchwood operatives and managed to know you had to look at the camera for about ten seconds flat, as the security did you a once over and confirmed you worked for the underground base. Only then the door would open and had only seconds to get inside before it closed.

Owen picked up a set of car keys to a Saab he knew Torchwood owed, he dug his pistol in the back of his waistband and covered it with his jacket. Gwen did the same.

Glancing at Ianto as he straightened his tie, Toshiko always thought that they had a lot more in common while working than they both would give credit for, but it was Toshiko's choice to stay quiet at work and she liked it that way even though she fed off the adrenalin when out dealing with something. Whereas Ianto, longed to see more action out of The Hub, she could see it in his eyes even if he insisted that, that side of the job didn't interest him in the least. "Go Ianto, I'll see to things from this end"


	10. Chapter 10

Owen tossed the keys to Gwen as they neared the Saab in the parking lot. "You better drive" he said. He held up his bandaged hand. "I'm a bit unsteady at the wheel"

"Well it's a good thing I agreed to come along then isn't?" Gwen catched the keys in mid air and made for the driver side of the car, as Owen placed Ianto's bottle of vinegar into the boot and headed for the passenger side.

"Wait up guys!" Ianto called, jogging over to them and slipped into the back seat of the car, as all three of them closed the doors in sync.

Gwen turned the ignition on and revved up the engine, wheel spinning out the parking lot and up the ramp with a bang. She forgot the Saab didn't have half the suspension the SUV did and accelerated towards the farm.

"Women drivers!" Owen moaned.

Gwen pulled a face, ignoring him once again, knowing it wasn't worth getting worked up over, especially while she was driving. Up ahead she could see she was running into traffic so she took the right hand lane on the dual carriageway and criss crossed back and forth to the left hand lane to avoid the traffic jam. She got various horns blown in her direction but at least she shown Owen that she wasn't just a pretty face.

She knew no one on the team could beat Jack's driving and she often moaned that Jack drove like he did everything else in life: aggressively, theatrically and at enough speed that he hoped people wouldn't notice the rough edges. He had never had an accident, but Gwen wasn't sure why not; he seemed to be working very hard at it after all. Ianto had told her about the number of speeding tickets the police sent to the dummy license address – it was a morning's work every few weeks hacking into the police computer system and cancelling them all.

She was at the farm in no time and just around the corner she spotted the SUV up ahead. She parked just behind it, using the gears to slow it down instead of sending the car into a roll on the mud. Owen was out the car before she or Ianto had so much as unclasped their seat-belts. "Somebody's on a promise!" Ianto muttered as Gwen climbed out the car and shut her side door, taking in her scenery.

Ianto stepped out into a pool of mud, which may well have been the worst possible thing he could have ever done, never mind the spaceship crashing! His shiny shoes were now filthy and to top it all of, the rim around his trousers at the shin was know damp with the brown stuff. He shut his side door along with Owen's as Gwen took the vinegar from the boot and locked the car. He proceeded the right way up the driveway to the cottage and farm instead of climbing over the fences and scrambling over fields, which would have spoilt his suit even more. On the plus side the sun was now shinning.

"JACK!" He heard Gwen's voice up ahead and rushed around the side of the house to see several things at once. There was a couple with a dog in shock, Jack was lying awkwardly on the ground and Ianto swallowed, no matter how many times he saw Jack die and come back to life, he just couldn't get used to it and often thought maybe Jack's time could come to an end when he was out longer then usual. There was a woman near the space craft he recognized as the Cardiff's Mayor from a few years back, but automatically knew it was the Slitheen. Her weight gave it away, Slitheens, normally squeezed into those kind of skins, but couldn't hold back the gas exchange. He came up to the conclusion that they had arrived just in time, because Jack had, indeed, needed backup.

Gwen and Owen approached the couple, unsure whether or not the dog would attack. Jess backed away behind Mark. "Hi, I'm Gwen Cooper and this is Owen Harper," she introduced them. "Maybe we should get you inside for the moment until we are done here."

Jess nodded and took Gwen's comforting hand and headed towards the cottage, passing Ianto as they did so, who stopped and gave them a slight nod. Jess had obviously fallen for Gwen's sympathetic side. Mark eyed Owen up, and not the way Jack would have considered in a nice way. Owen gave him a smile and said "You too" and gestured towards the cottage.

Ianto went over to where Gwen had dropped the vinegar and picked it up, away from the golden retriever that was sniffing around it. "Nice dog by the way"


	11. Chapter 11

Jack slowly but surely started to come around, his blurry vision as his eyes opened started becoming clearer and fixed on the blonde woman standing over him. He was half aware of her giving him a slight kick in his leg and when that didn't work, she resulted to poking him with what felt like a stick in the ribs in the effort to make him more self aware. He vaguely heard Gwen's voice in the background. He arched an eyebrow and grabbed the stick once he found himself more conscious. "What do you think I am?" he said to the human form of Slitheen. "Your dog?" he paused. "Don't answer that!" She snatched the stick back almost immediately.

His fingers ran, spider like across the grass towards the vinegar that rolled a few inches away beside him. The Slitheen laughed and smacked his fingers with the stick and Jack instinctively curled them into a fist and held them tightly in his free hand as the sharp stinging pain passed. "Ouch, you bitch" The alien crushed the bottle of vinegar and laughed again, it was then he noticed that she wasn't holding a stick after all it was more like a cane or a walking stick.

Jack got to his feet and balanced himself still feeling a little dizzy. "What are you doing here?" he demanded. "You were given another chance of life, a second time round to better the life you had, why didn't you take it? Heck, if I had the chance I would! But no, you decided to come back here"

The Slitheen came closer to Jack and ran her fingers around his face, until her hand clenched tightly around his neck. "You haven't changed much have you?" she said eyeing him up.

Ianto's brow quivered, he watched Jack get to his feet relieved that he had come around for like what seemed the hundredth time since Ianto found out about Jack's problem. As he watched, he couldn't help but notice the chemistry between the alien and Jack, like they had fought against each other before. If Ianto remembered correctly Jack had locked the whole team away down The Hub when that one particular Slitheen threatened to destroy Cardiff with the Blaidd Drwg project and almost did when the rift opened. Even then, Jack insisted that everything would work out, as if he had lived through it once before and knew how it ended. Then it hit Ianto, maybe he had and that's how they knew each other, maybe Jack had fought her off the first time around and then stopped the team from doing it again because of the chances of meeting himself and causes even more problems.

"You see, I was given to a new family when I hatched, quite a wealthy family too but what you and your precious Doctor and Rose failed to do was give me a new memory" She raised her cane and tapped her forehead. "I started having dreams, yes we get dreams and the dream I had was about coming to this place and smelling out revenge on this godforsaken rock" She tightened her grip around his neck "Starting with you – Jack Harkness"

She let out a loud fart. "Do excuse me"

Jack bit the inside of his gum. "Smelling out something else by the looks of it, not very lady like are you?" As her hand tightened, Jack tried to wiggle out of her grip. "We didn't do anything to you; you looked into the heart of the TARDIS and the TARDIS looked into you, gave you a new life. Whatever it did to you, I'm sorry, but you were about to destroy the planet what else were we supposed to do, but stop you?" Jack was finding it hard to breathe, as her hand had found the necessary pressure on his windpipe. He was struggling now against her "Stop, or I will do it for you," he managed to get out and the last thing he heard was the sound of his own neck breaking.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

The Slitheen looked somewhat amused to herself as none of the rest of the people who were looking on with whatever emotions lurking behind their eyes, had taken a blind bit of notice at their leader lying dead on the floor. She was hoping for a round of applause at the trouble she had gone too, just to break Jack's neck. She turned away from him, not noticing his body shaking as it started the process of coming back to life and made her way towards the fence where Ianto stood unscrewing the cap to the vinegar bottle.

She stopped and looking at her surroundings, there was no rush in her plans, unlike last time; she was going to take her time and get everything prepared before making her move. This farm would be a nice place to start her business from, after all that's all she cared about, making a profit. Once she had gotten rid of everyone nearby of course.

Ianto threw vinegar over her, destroying all the happy thoughts she was just having in a world of her own. She glared at him and wiped the stinking liquid from her face and gave Ianto a twisted smile. "Hello smart boy," she said. "Want to try that again?"

She laughed, when a couple of people, a woman, obviously being Gwen and another man, Owen appeared with guns. "Shoot me girls and boys" she said cold. "See what little harm it does."

"I don't understand" Ianto said, before taking his pistol out and pointing it towards Margaret, taking slow, small steps away from her. "You should at least have an allergic reaction to vinegar?"

The invisible force that tossed Jack off his feet earlier did the same to Ianto and thrashing him up against the metal doors of the barn that contained the horse. It was like nobody could get within ten feet of the alien unless the alien wanted you to. For a second or so Ianto saw stars, but it soon passed.

"Oi!" Owen shouted "You really know how to sweep a man off his feet don't you?" He really thought that the alien was bluffing when she said that their weapons wouldn't hurt her and lifted his own gun up without hesitation, firing a gun shot at the Slitheen. After all he has had enough experience with dealing with Aliens to know most will only tell you what they wanted you know and half of that wasn't true. Owen had a sickening thought, when it turned out she was telling the truth as the bullet never hit her body and dissolved a few inches away from her tissue. "Well it was worth a shot!"

Jack felt the air flood back into his lungs as he sat up with a gasp for the need of air. It resulted in him immediately beginning to gulp with the intention of filling his lungs and re-oxygenating his blood. Thinking about blood, he was vaguely aware of the wetness of his own blood pumping from his throat. He spat it out and wiped his lips dry. He still didn't really understand the physical mechanics of his condition. What seemed to happen was that his just deceased body held in stasis while time ran backwards over it, repairing wounds and mending broken bones.

Sometimes it was better to die. At least when he died, the time forces did their stuff, making him as good as new, leaving him with no wounds, no scars, no pain. Injuries without dying were merely injuries, they were time consuming to heal, he was only human after all and they hurt. He became aware of being wet and sticky, he glanced down to see that the front of his shirt was soaked in congealing blood. "Oh gross" he murmured

He had the mother of all headaches as he stood up and as Ianto threw vinegar and Owen fired shots, nothing happened to Margaret, that wasn't supposed to happen.

"Ahhh!" he said as the woman turned around and glared at Jack.

"You are supposed to be dead" Margaret observed.

"So should you" Jack said, gaining his balancing. "Oh yeah, sorry," he replied. "You may have a problem there," he told her. "You are supposed to be Slitheen jam, how come vinegar is making no affect?"

"Like you said Jack, you may have a problem there," she smirked and smacked him one with the cane.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Ianto watched on ahead as Owen made a fool of himself thinking he could take on the Slitheen alone. One thing you should always note, if Jack couldn't deal with the situation alone, well you just couldn't deal with it either. It was time to be a team and work together. Even though he looked calm at everything what was going on, secretly he was getting worked up, but he wanted to come on the mission so he could blame himself. He sat up straight against the horse stables

"OK," he thought. "Vinegar is useless, bullets are too, no plan B, not looking good".

His eyes narrowed as he looked over at Margaret, then at the ship. There could have been many things putting the alien in a protective bubble, which seemed to be their top priority of breaking at the moment, because they were utterly defenseless. Her ship, the cane she was holding, both of the latter two working together, destroying the one without the other would only take down half her defenses. "Alright," he said finally, after noting everything that had happened. "You want something useful, she's in a defensive bubble!" he stated the obvious and then went quiet, as if that's the only thing he had to say.

This caused an awkward silence as if the other two were expecting him to say something else. "So," he said slightly stiffly and out of place "Maybe something she has hold of needs to be destroyed." He turned to Owen who had made his way over to where Ianto lay by the stables and muttered loud enough for only them to hear. "My bet is the pain cane!" To him, that was a cool name!

Owen look amused and helped Ianto to his feet and slammed his fist into his shoulder. "Only you could come up with that"

The pressure when the fist hit him brought tears to his eyes. "Ouch! That hurt!"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Jack took in everything the team was doing and nothing seemed to work just like the Slitheen had said. "Bugger!" He thought only half listening to what the others were saying until he picked up on what Ianto mentioned. Something that the alien might be holding. He had point there. The Slitheen had her back towards him, Jack ran his eyes down to look at the cane she was holding and pulled a face. Anyone who could see him could easily think he was looking at something else, that shouldn't be mentioned.

It was the first time he had actually noticed the markings on the walking stick, they weren't from earth. The handle seemed to be made of some kind on mental and the rest seemed to be made of wood with funny carvings all the way down its length. There was a blue flashing light around the base of it and he wondered _why _he hadn't noticed it before now, but he was pretty out of it when he had snatched it out her grasp earlier to notice anything in particular.

He also noticed that he was the only one who could get anywhere close enough to her to actually do anything about it. He gestured to the other two to keep her talking and hold her attention as he crept up behind her. One hand out stretched in front of him ready to grab the cane and with his free hand he placed a finger against his lips to tell, Owen and Ianto to not give any sign away that he was almost in touching distance of the stick.

The moment he touched the stick it sent an electrical shock through his body but he held on and snatched it away from her. She automatically turned to face him ready to strike. She pointed her finger at him and a poisonous dart flew out from the tip but Jack knew that a female Raxacoricofallapatorians in extreme cases, have certain ways on how to protect herself when her life is in danger or in desperate measures. Manufacturing a poison dart within her own finger tip was one of them and as a final resort, the excess poison can be exhaled through the lungs. Jack dodged the dart by merely a few inches but he knew whatever poison was it wouldn't affect him as she first thought it might.

"Looking for this are ya?" he asked and lifted the cane up in the air, pulsing a sharp electrical shock through his body, but he didn't give into it. "You gotta catch me first" He smirked and set off at a quick pace around the rear end of the ship.

"Give that back!" He heard the Slitheen spit, knowing that taking the cane from her put her into a vulnerable position and the way she was reacting just proved his point.

He climbed up onto the shaft and pulled himself up on to the roof of the spaceship. He found the opening to her craft and slid down the laddered tunnel inside. It was pretty big inside but he made his way straight to the controls. He tried snapping the cane but it wouldn't budge, it looked wooden but it was rock hard metal which bruised his leg when he tried to snap it, he hoped that his plan B would work. There must be something somewhere that would allow him to programme the ship to detonate. Every ship had something like it, depending on what situation you were in. It was a life line and normally you would take an escape pod and watch your ship get blown up in front of your eyes as you floated away from it. Jack was thinking with experience. He was hoping sooner or later the Slitheen would follow him inside. He started to press several buttons on the control panel then entered the coordinates for her own planet.

At that moment the alien stepped into the ship and gave him yet another twisted smile. "I got you just where I want you"

Something caught Jack's eye "Oh really?" he said and slammed the cane into what seemed to be an holding place for it. It shone brightly and Jack slammed his fist down onto the base of it, jamming it even further into its holding place. The cane was joint with the ship that worked as a protection for Margaret, but while Jack was playing with the controls momentarily ago, he programmed it to do just the opposite. To work against Margaret.

The ship shook violently, the voice over controller was saying everything was malfunctioning. All different colour lights were flashing, the thing was ready to blow.

"If you blow up this ship then you'll blow with it," the Slitheen said but Jack noted the panic raising in her voice.

"Let it blow" he replied as an electronic voice started to count down from five

Four

Three

Two

"STOP!" Margaret screamed.

One…

Jack ran for the ladder knocking the Slitheen off balance as he did. He climbed the ladder and popped his head out of the command observation bubble of the ship shouting over to Owen and Ianto. "Get back!" he yelled to the other two still by the stables, who ran for cover at the cottage.

The ship suddenly exploded and disappeared leaving nothing but a pile of ship dust. Fear rose in both Ianto and Owen. Gwen had stepped into the court yard this point followed by Mark and Jess as they on-looked just behind the two men, in shock. It took a few minutes, which felt like hours for the smoke to clear to reveal a man in his greatcoat lying in a heap on the floor.

"Jack!" Gwen and Ianto yelled at the same time and made a run for him so did Owen and the other two civilians. They all scaled the fence of the paddock.

Gwen was the first to approach and turned Jack onto his back to be faced with a beaming smile up at them all.

"Don't ever do that again!" Ianto said.

"You're a cruel man Jack Harkness" Owen muttered somewhere in the background.

Mark and Jess gave at each other questioning looks. "How did you survive that?"

Jack got to his feet and stretched. "The cane was programmed to keep the Slitheen protected using some future technology. I did a little jiggering while I was inside the ship and managed to programme the equipment up to this thing" he gestured to his vortex manipulator on his wrist. "not useless after all, it worked against the Slitheen and protected me instead"

"What happened to the Slitheen?"

Jack's eyes suddenly darkened. "Who Margaret? I programmed her ship to go back to Raxacoricofallapatorius, last time I met her, her people wanted to execute her – no second chances. Lets hope they finish the job"

"And if they don't and she comes back?"

"I will finish her people's job for them once and for all"

He walked passed the group, without a second glance back and left for the SUV deep in thought.

A dog sat near the entrance to the driveway and barked when Jack passed. He jumped out of a world of his own and made his way over to it. "Not a word of what happened today, you here me?"

The dog barked again

"Good lad" he ruffled the dogs golden fur and watched the golden retriever run back home.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

"So really, is that your job?" Mark asked taking a long and well deserved swig of his pint. Jess sat next to him with her drink of vodka and tonic and took a sip, placing it on the table and running her finger around the rim. "Saving Cardiff from aliens"

"I mean you think of E.T when you think of aliens, when they are on your door step it's a different thing" Jess laughed "I never believed alien's existed till a few days ago, never imagined I would"

"The world and universe is much bigger then you think" Jack nodded, sitting opposite them, with is glass of water. Alcohol never really had the same affect on him as it did with most people. Sometimes he wished that it would, but drinking it only had as much affect on him as water did; only it tasted a little better. "Saving Cardiff from aliens, sounds like us to a T," he smiled watching them ponder on what really was out there.

Too bad, because when Mark and Jess woke up tomorrow morning they wouldn't remember a thing. It would be just another boring day working on the farm for them. They would have no memory of Jack, the Slitheen or Torchwood. The past few days would never have happened for them and they would ponder about what they actually did, but wouldn't worry on that thought for to long and get on with what they were supposed to do.

The one thing people should know about Jack was, you should never accept a drink from him. Most times it would be his own recipe with a touch of denial, a dash of retcon and a little bit of sedative mixed in.

When he was happy that Mark and Jess had consumed enough, Jack finished his glass of water and smiled. "I best be off, aliens don't take time off you know" he chuckled and shook Mark's offered hand, the couple having no clue they have just been drugged.

"Thanks again" Jess said

"Don't mention it" Jack took her hand and kissed it. She tried hard not to show she was blushing. He turned and walked out the pub with a sigh. He placed his hands in his pocket and looked at the man in front of him.

"You took your time, I was beginning to think you had stood me up! All done?"

"Never!" Jack nodded with a grin. "All done, Ianto" he glanced back at the pub. "Nice couple, just kinda tragic"


	16. CREDITS

CREDITS:

Doctor Who/Torchwood/The Slitheen/Torchwood Hub/SUV

Captain Jack Harkness: John Barrowman  
Gwen Cooper: Eve Myles  
Ianto Jones: Gareth David Lloyd  
Owen Harper: Burn Gorman  
Toshiko 'Tosh' Sato: Naoko Morri

All listed above is a trademark of the BBC and I don't own a thing.

Original characters made by me, any reference to them should have my permission.  
Mark Thomason: James Thornton  
Jess Thomason: Natalie J Robb

Written by Jay Westwood (Any . Takers)  
Beta'd by Patricia Miller (a close friend)


End file.
